Oh no they've recognized me
I just went for a quiet evening
Why aren't they at home watching me
Instead of being in my pub bothering me
Yeah, yeah, okay, it's me

I'm the star of that show, I'm the star of that show
I'm the star of that show, I'm the star of that show
I'm the star of that show, I'm the star of that show
I'm the star of that show, I'm the star of that show
Everybody's watchin' for me
Everybody's watchin' for me
They don't care about the other stories
They don't care about the other stories

They've let me go, yeah they've let me go
Yeah, they've let me go
Yeah the new producers let me go
They said it was budget setbacks
But anyway they'll be callin' me back
They'll be callin' me back
They'll be callin' me back
And I'll just roll my eyes
Cause they might as well die
Before I come crawlin' back
Before I come crawlin' back

Everybody's watchin', watchin' for me
They don't care about the other stories
I'm probably gonna win another Emmy
Been collecting 'em my whole career
Constantly the best hair, constantly the best dressed
And yet they're firing me for an older actress
Well I wish 'em all my best - as well as a slow painful death

Enjoy your bad ratings
The network will soon consider cancelling
Cancelling, yeah cancelling
Enjoy your bad ratings

Anyway, I don't have enough time
To run through my lines
Fetch me my cue cards
So I can be a proper star

I'm the star of that show, I'm the star of that show
I'm the star of that show, I'm the star of that show
I'm the star of that show, I'm the star of that show
I'm the star of that show, I'm the star of that show
Everybody's watchin' for me
Everybody's watchin' for me
They don't care about the other stories
They don't care about the other stories

They've let me go, yeah they've let me go
Yeah, they've let me go
Yeah the new producers let me go
They said it was budget setbacks
But anyway they'll be callin' me back
They'll be callin' me back
They'll be callin' me back
And I'll just roll my eyes
Cause they might as well die
Before I come crawlin' back
Before I come crawlin' back

Everybody's watchin', watchin' for me
They don't care about the other stories
My manager's already got plenty other offers
The other shows, they all want me front-and-center
Constantly the best hair, constantly the best dressed
And yet they're firing me for an older actress
Well I wish 'em all my best - as well as a slow painful death

Enjoy your bad ratings
The network will soon consider cancelling
Cancelling, yeah cancelling
Enjoy your bad ratings

I'm the star of that show, I'm the star of that show
I'm the star of that show, I'm the star of that show
I'm the star of that show, I'm the star of that show
I'm the star of that show, I'm the star of that show
I kept that show on TV
Everybody was watchin' for me
They don't care about the other stories
They don't care about the other stories